Fortis Therapy and Training is a multi-award-winning mental health and emotional wellbeing service, who specialise in supporting pupils and the school team with their mental health and wellbeing.

We are proud to have worked in partnership with Waltham Leas Primary Academy for many years, and we continue to work therapeutically with any challenges experienced by children, team members and families.

Each week, an experienced Fortis therapist visits the school to work with children who are struggling with anything from their feelings, anxiety and bereavement to trauma (and everything in between), which can affect self-esteem, feeling low and emotional, impact on relationships, and friendships too. 

Each child is different, which is why we offer a variety of approaches to help them process their feelings including talking therapies including cognitive behavioural therapy and creative/play therapies. We work closely with the school team and parents, sharing knowledge and strategies. We can also run workshops for the children and for the team.

The mental wellbeing of the team is just as important, which is why school have asked Fortis to provide regular reflective practice  and all members of staff are able to book a wellbeing check-in whenever they need.

We also like to share some ideas for parents/carers to use when they’re talking to a child about their concerns.

Below are some ‘word swap’ ideas you can try out with your child.

Swap:

“Don’t worry” for “Can you tell me more about your worries?”

Showing your child that you are trying to understand is a great way to encourage them to open up about their feelings.

Instead of:

“It’s no big deal” try “I can see that you’re feeling very anxious about... Let’s do some deep breathing together”.

Children will learn breathing techniques during the workshops. During a calm moment, encourage them to show you what they’ve learnt. Then you can remind them of these techniques when they need them.

Change:

“You’ll be fine” to “I am here to help you”.

Let them know that you’re there, and that you can help them work through their anxiety.

Rather than dismissing their feelings with:

“There’s nothing to be afraid of!” You can help ease the fears by encouraging them to talk about it: “I can see you are afraid. Let’s talk about that together”.

When we start to panic, our brains cannot process information properly. By helping your child to understand what’s bothering them, you can help them work on strategies to overcome their fears or anxiety.

Instead of:

“Just go to sleep!” Why not suggest “Let’s do a meditation app together before bed to help us relax into sleep”.

Anxiety can make your mind race, which makes getting to sleep difficult. This isn’t your child’s fault, it’s simply a natural response. During the workshops your child will have the opportunity to try meditation (we have found that children and adults love this!). Here are some links to free childhood meditation videos, which can help your child calm their busy mind.

Swap:

“Give it to me, I’ll do it” for “I know you feel anxious, but you can do this. I am here to support you”.

When your child is struggling with things, it’s easy to feel exasperated and want to do it yourself for an easy life. To help anxious children to become independent, it’s important to encourage them to confront their worries and try to be independent.

Instead of:

“It’s all in your head”. Say “It sounds like your worry brain is really loud right now, how about we go for a walk together and calm that worry brain down”.

Dismissing anxiety only shames your child and increases not only their anxiety but feelings of guilt too. Show your child that you’re trying to understand how they feel.

During the workshops, children will gain an understanding of how their brains work to help them find self-regulating techniques.

Swap:

“Hurry up!” for “What do you need right now?”

Anxious children tend to move slowly to avoid their fears. Telling them to hurry up only increases feelings of guilt and helplessness. Instead get your child to think about their needs in a constructive way, shifting the worry on to something they can do practically. This helps them learn to take responsibility for their own regulation and become aware of their triggers and what to do about it next time.

We want them to think along the lines of “hang on, my tummy feels funny, and my hands are sweaty, what’s going on, what do I need right now” and for them to be able to work that out. This is where their power is.

Change:

“Stop thinking about it” To “Let’s tell that worry brain some positive stuff!” “I’ve got this” “I can do this!”

Enabling positive self-talk strategies will help your child to learn to debate with their anxious brain.

Swap:

“I don’t know what you need” for "Let’s brainstorm ways to help calm our minds right now”.

Parenting an anxious child can be difficult and exhausting. Your child needs you to remain calm and hopeful in the face of anxiety. If you express hopelessness, anger, or a perceived unwillingness to help, their anxiety will potentially escalate. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that your child is not trying to give YOU a hard time, but that THEY are having a hard time and need your help. Why not have a go at some breathing techniques too!

Learning how to cope with anxiety takes time and consistency.

Anxiety makes all of these things (and more) happen for many children every single day. Just do your best to respond with empathy and compassion when your child comes to you with worries. Remember, to take care of YOU too. You’re doing an awesome job!

While these simple techniques may work for some children, others may need extra help to get the tools they need to learn to cope.

At Fortis we are continually developing our services to support adults and children. If you have any questions then please contact us at enquiries@fortistherapy.co.uk or check out our website (www.fortistherapy.co.uk) where we have lots of free content, blogs and ideas and you can follow us on social media – we are on all the main platforms.